The Taz Show, Bodyslams & Beyond
Release Date: Oct. 14, 2015
Report by: Sean Sumey, PWPodcasts Reporter
– HUMP DAY PROMOS: Find out who is the World’s Greatest Janitor and why!
SUBJECTS COVERED (w/Time Stamps)
(00:00-00:43) Show intro
(00:44) Taz opens the show and welcomes fans to Hump Day Promos! Taz is joined today by his producer, Brian, who is filling in for Seth. Taz said there are some great entries today. Taz said there are more than ten promos that made the cut. Taz doesn’t know if everyone loves Hump Day Promos, but he said if you don’t take yourself too seriously, you will love it. Taz points out that this week’s topic was being the World’s Greatest Janitor. Taz urged the entrants to stick to the topic for each week. Taz said there were several people who just talked about whatever they wanted.
Taz almost took a call from a listener but the call was lost. Next was MLB Playoffs talk. The Chicago Cubs will be playing either the Dodgers or the Mets. Taz is praying to God that it will be the Mets. Brian points out that Back to the Future II took place in 2015. Brian selected a segment from the movie. In the movie, the Cubs win the World Series. Taz said in 2003 or 2004, a young guy reached over to catch a ball and ended up costing the Cubs the playoff game. That was the last time the Cubs made it this far. Taz likes the Cubs and is happy they have made it to the post-season. Taz assumed the Cardinals were going to make it all the way but he is glad it worked out this way. The Astros will take on the Royals and the Rangers take on the Blue Jays tonight. … South Carolina Gamecocks head coach Steve Spurrier resigned mid-season and said he didn’t want to have a losing season. Taz will always think of him as a Florida Gators coach. People are wondering why he would abandon his players and essentially give up on them. Taz thinks the school may have went to him and urged him to resign. Taz thinks Spurrier could end up working with the NFL maybe as a commentator or assistant coach. Taz said that if his boy’s coach quit at the beginning or middle of the season, he would be upset. Taz said a coach always tells his players not to quit and they should do the same. Jim Harbaugh, who left the 49ers to go coach Michigan, is doing a great job so far this season. Taz said a lot of the credit goes to the players but it has to be acknowledged that Harbaugh is a great coach. Taz really hates the sweatshirts that the managers are wearing during the playoffs….really hates them.
(18:42-20:04) Taz does a live read for Sleeper Bot.
(20:20) On ESPN, Jonathan Coachman did a little segment on WWE. Apparently, this will be a regular thing. Taz really likes this because of Coach’s history with WWE and the exposure for WWE.
(22:07) Taz takes a call from Xavier in Delaware. Xavier really likes the working relationship between WWE and ESPN. Xavier missed Raw, but was able to catch the results on SportsCenter.
(25:40) The topic for next week’s Hump Day Promo is….undetermined. Taz asks his fans to hit him up on Twitter @OfficialTaz and suggest topics for Hump Day Promos. Taz prefers non-wrestling topics because it forces people to be creative. Taz is thinking about traffic or maybe the world’s best chef.
(31:20) Taz is already getting some suggestions like best car salesman, flushing the toilet, and why you should be an intern for The Taz Show.
(34:02) Promo #1 is from The Fish Man. Fish Man says that he and Taz both know that Fish Man is the greatest janitor this high school has ever had. Plenty of janitor puns in there. Fish Man closes it out with a “clean sweep.” Taz likes Fish Man’s inflection. Taz also points out that Fish Man presented things in 3’s which is something you pick up over time with cutting promos. Example Taz gives is “to me the best coffee to have is which one? Is it Dunkin’ Donuts? Is it Starbucks? Is it Tim Horton’s? I’m going with Horton’s!” Taz said it isn’t always necessary but he always used it. Taz scores him a 7 out of 10. Brian agrees.
(38:03) Promo #2 is from J-Fed. J-Fed has a backache. His hand bones are cracking. At the crack of dawn, he is turning the lights on. J-Fed is taking out the trash. J-Fed is the JOAT, Jack of All Trades. J-Fed yelled a little bit, but Taz said it is okay. Taz likes J-Fed’s Southern accent. Taz gives him 6 out of 10. Brian gives him an 8 out of 10.
(41:23) Promo #3 is from Big Mike. Big Mike is sweeping and mopping. Not just mopping, but mopping up blood of other janitors that think they are better than he is. Big Mike is not a sissy maid. Big Mike likes the sweet sound of keys jingling on his belt. Taz gives him an 8.5 out of 10. Brian agrees.
(43:55) Promo #4 is from LC Johns. LC wants the world to know that LC stands for Loves to Clean. LC believes in janitorialism. Duty calls for LC. Taz loves it. Taz wants LC to pace himself and work on his inflection. Taz listened to it again. Taz gives him a 9 out of 10. Brian agrees.
(47:14) Promo #5 is from Nadeer The Blind Truth. Nadeer is rapping and rhyming about his janitor abilities. Taz digs it. Taz was very impressed. By rapping, Taz believes he separated himself from the pack. Taz would like to have heard a beat underneath his rap. Brian would have preferred the rap to get to the janitor topic a little quicker. Brian isn’t sure what Blind Truth has to do with cleaning. Brian gives him a 7 out of 10. Taz gives him an 8.
(52:45) Promo #6 is from the Jew Jitsu Janitor. Triple J references Taz’s soundboard and shouts out to Hebrews and Shebrews. Triple J throws out some shade toward Ian in San Antonio. Brian said there is always a lot of Texas hate in the promos. Taz likes that the fans are calling each other out. Taz prefers that people include the topic like Triple J did. Taz doesn’t like Triple J’s tone. Taz thinks Seth picked his promo just to create his own angle. Taz gives him a 5 out of 10. Taz has to give him a “jew”. Taz then corrects himself and says he meant to give him a 5. Brian gives him a 6 because he mentioned the soundboard. Taz urges Triple J to keep sending them in.
(1:01:25) Promo #7 is from Squeeky Clean. Squeeky can take a smelly ECW locker room and turn it into a beauty queen boudoir. Taz interrupts and says that anyone who was in the ECW locker room in Philly would know that it is impossible to get it clean. Taz said it was not very sanitary. Taz starts Squeeky’s promo over. Squeeky will take Dirty South Texas and turn it into Tidy North Dakota. Dirt sheets don’t exist anymore due to Squeeky. Squeeky’s promo also had a video. Taz loves the way Squeeky says his name. Taz gives him a 9.5 out of 10. Taz thinks Squeeky sounds young. Brian gives him a 9.
(1:08:39) Promo #8 is from John Roka. John has gone from bars to the houses of stars. John has gone from the outhouse to the penthouse. John may not be the son of a plumber, but he is a custodian wonder. John is going to that brass toilet bowl. Taz gives him a 9 and 3/4 out of 10. Taz points out that John used a form of “sweep” twice in the promo. This is what keeps John from being a perfect 10.
(1:13:23) Taz takes a call from Rocky. Taz hates it when people say first-time caller, long-time listener. Rocky likes the promos so far. Rocky thought he heard some background music in one of the promos. Taz has Brian checking. Rocky likes the topic next week as Taz Show intro. Rocky also likes the music played during Taz’s show. Taz said his son helps him pick it out. Taz plays Squeeky Clean’s promo and he can hear Brock Lesnar’s music in the background. Rocky asks Taz about Great Khali’s viral video. Taz asks Rocky to send him another Tweet about it because he missed it. Taz liked that Rocky really broke down the promos.
(1:19:00) Taz gets back to rating John Roka. Taz still gives him 9 and 3/4. Brian gives him a 9.
(1:19:50) Promo #9 is from Justin in Japan. Taz remembers Justin calling in last week and saying Texas was going to beat Oklahoma. Taz says that Justin was right and both he and JR sent him a tweet to let him know he was right. Justin is throwing insults at Dirty South Texas and Ian in San Antonio. Taz gives him a 4 out of 10. Taz said his inflection was good, but his content was not. Taz also liked his pacing. Taz said that Justin didn’t stay on topic. Taz didn’t think Justing talked about being a janitor enough. The video sent in wasn’t of Justin, but instead was of a smoke detector. Brian gives him a 5.
Someone sends Taz a tweet asking if anyone can start a promo without using “You wanna know why, I’ll tell you why.” Taz said it is a crutch. Taz said the promo crutch used to be “Let me tell you something, brother.” Taz references the old sketch show “Fridays.” Michael Richards was on the show. One of the actors would do a skit where they played a masked wrestler and cut promos. Taz said they were great because they were so cliched and used corny lines like “I’m going to break you in half.” Taz said it’s hard to not use the crutches.
(1:30:12) Next week’s Hump Day Promo topic will officially be….why you would make the best Taz Show intern!
(1:30:32-1:31:40) Taz does a live read for Draft Kings. Use promo code TAZ to play for free.
(1:31:50) Promo #10 is from Skinny Lad. Skinny Lad has a ring announcer voice that introduces him. Skinny Lad is using a character voice and Taz loves it. Skinny Lad also has crowd noise in the background. Taz got goose bumps. Taz gives Skinny Lad the Golden 15! Taz explains that it means 15 out of 10. Taz said that is how you need to do it. Taz changes his score to Orange 13 instead of Golden 15. Taz said he has to promote his own gimmick. Brian gives him a 10 out of 10. Taz thinks there are a bunch of guys in Texas that are pissed off. The Twitter followers love Skinny Lad.
(1:39:15) Brian suggests they just play the promo. Guzman Franco is the best janitor in the whole building. Guzman is rocking the heavy Hispanic accent. When you make pee pees and it smells like lemon, that is Guzman. When you make poo poos and you have paper, that is Guzman. When you wash your hands and do the little pumpies so your hands smell like strawberries, that is the Guz! Guzman does not like that his vacation request was denied to allow him to go see his mamacita. Taz figures out that Guzman is Dirty South Texas. Taz loves it. Taz struggles with giving another Orange 13. Taz said Orange 13 is so prestigious. Taz is impressed with DST’s creativity. Taz felt the character was similar to Nacho Libre. Brian gives Guzman 11 out of 10. Taz decides to give DST the Orange 13. Taz needs to hear Skinny Lad again.
(1:46:02) Taz chooses Skinny Lad as this week’s winner. Taz is still trying to get the t-shirts sent out from week one. Taz wants to know how he gets reimbursed from CBS for the t-shirts. Taz reminds the listeners to send in their promos to firstname.lastname@example.org.
(1:48:40) Taz enjoyed NXT Takeover: Respect and is looking forward to tonight’s NXT show. Taz talks about the angle between Samoa Joe and Finn Balor. Taz says there will be a #1 contender’s battle royal for a shot at the NXT title. Taz hopes Balor will be on commentary during the match. Taz doesn’t read the spoilers and doesn’t want fans Tweeting him results. Brian has never watched NXT and doesn’t have the WWE Network. Taz puts the network over to Brian. Taz tells Brian that if he doesn’t want to pay $10 a month for the Network, he could pay Taz $8 a month and he will tell him about stuff that happens. Tomorrow, Mike Tenay will be on for his weekly segment.
RATE & REVIEW
8 out of 10. This was a very entertaining episode. Taz came up with this Hump Day Promos idea and I wasn’t sure of it at first. Taz showed here that he isn’t afraid to push his fans outside the box of just pro wrestling. Taz still finds a way to keep the balance for even a casual fan. The promos were entertaining and I think 45 seconds is a perfect amount of time for each one. I’m not sure if these promos are everyone’s cup of tea but I enjoy them. I look forward to your comments and critiques.